How to Strengthen Relationships Amid Holiday Stress
While we may be amidst the most holly-jolly time of the year, it doesn’t mean that it’s the easiest. Cookie decorating, tree trimming, and family gatherings are only a few of the things you might be expected to show up for this holiday season. But unfortunately, for some, showing up is much more stressful than joyful.
Whether it’s some unresolved, long-standing family issue, or, every time you get the gang together, there seems to be turmoil, it doesn’t mean you have to white-knuckle it through the season. So how do you strengthen relationships amid holiday stress, or at the very least, have a pleasant experience? Practicing mindfulness, setting boundaries, and checking in emotionally, can make a world of difference.
Importance of Mindfulness During the Holiday Season
Regardless of what state your relationships are in during the holidays, the chaos (even joyful chaos) tends to strain even the best relationships. But never fear, mindfulness is a great way to combat this from the start. So, let’s start off with the most important part of practicing mindfulness–defining what it is to be mindful.
What is mindfulness?
Mental health counselor, Zainah Ben Essa, talks about mindfulness as essentially the act of fully being present in action, thought, or emotion.” She adds, “By being present in this way, you are more self-aware and can give yourself the time or space you need.”
Maintaining this level of mindfulness and awareness is especially crucial when dealing with complicated family dynamics, or people you don’t truly care to see.
How mindfulness eases stress
When you quiet your mind and focus on the moment you’re in, you physically slow down the part of your brain that controls stress levels. Olivia Verhulst, a licensed mental health counselor, reminds us of the many different benefits that come with mindfulness in addition to reducing stress. “Mindfulness encourages many other mental health benefits ranging from increasing self-awareness to improving emotional regulation, and more.”
Ways to practice mindfulness during the holiday season
Even with the hustle and bustle of the season, it’s important to make time to slow down. Sometimes when we’re bouncing from one activity to another, we forget to take time to stop and breathe. Olivia suggests an easy way to build this into your busy day. “A good place to start is with three small breathing breaks into your workday, for about three to five minutes at a time,” she says.
How to Manage Your Stress this Holiday
There are many things that you might find stressing you out this holiday season that involve your relationships with friends, family, work, and romantic partners alike. Hosting events, overscheduling your family and yourself, or trying to keep up with every single person’s demands will leave you overwhelmed.
Curbing your people-pleasing tendencies during this time of year is easier said than done. But creating and communicating boundaries, enriching connections, and putting quality time front and center will help you stress less and strengthen your relationships.
Create and communicate clear boundaries
During the holidays, and every other time of year, be clear about your boundaries in all your relationships (professional and otherwise). You’re in control of the interactions you have. “Communicating clearly leads to positive interactions, but if someone chooses not to respect them, there are consequences you can enforce,” Zainah adds.
Maybe you don’t keep speaking with them, or choose to not attend events they’re involved with, or maybe, you told your boss no, I’m not signing on for a quick meeting. Decrease your stress around the holidays by setting these boundaries. It’s up to the people you’re interacting with to abide by them.
Enrich connections
There is no such thing as a dull moment around the holiday times. There is always somewhere to be and shopping to be done. But our time and attention are some of the greatest gifts we can give to people in our lives.
Olivia speaks to this when she talks about prioritizing our relationships. After all, spending time with those who bring us joy is a great way to stave off stress. “Prioritizing our partner can look like adding intention to our quality time. Being intentional and present during your quality time with others can deepen connections . Which yes, means cutting down on other distractions like screen time, which can add to stress in itself.”
At the end of the day, managing your stress this holiday season might feel impossible. But it all starts with strengthening all the relationships in your life, including the relationship you have with yourself. Go ahead, choose yourself, and self-care this holiday season. Because when you are better grounded, your relationships are stronger for it.
Our therapists here at Let’s Talk Psychological Wellness are committed to helping you manage your stress during the holidays and throughout the rest of the year. Feel confident and secure in your relationships. Call, text, or email us.
